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Admission essay excerpt
I didn’t take any special interest in medical school until I came face to face with a life and death situation. During a senior class picnic, one of my high school classmates called out for help. Even at a distance, I can see that he’s already drowning in the lake. So without wasting any second, I dived into the cold water to save him, until I later figured out that I don’t even have a floatation device to help us make it back. Halfway through, I throw caution to the wind and tried my best to save him. I then learned the value of saving lives as I cling to hope while inching our way back with labored breathing and tired body. Growing up in a small community, I also saw how our town could benefit from having a full-time doctor. Currently, our small town with more than 1,200 residents only has one part-time physician, and I want to change that. I’d like to be trained in a prestigious med school so I can save more lives and take good care of many families in our community.
Sample outline:
I. Introduction
A. Saving a life
i. rescuing a friend who’s about to drown
ii. realizing that there’s no floatation device for the rescue
iii. trying my best to make it back and save my classmate’s and my life
B. Wanting to serve the community
i. our community only has one part-time doctor, not enough for a population of 1,2000
ii. passion for saving lives and helping others
iii. taking good care of families in my small town
II. About me
A. Struggles and experiences
i. parent’s divorce at 12
ii. having to move to a rural village from the suburbs
iii. having trouble with financing my college education (had to hold jobs to pay for rent and tuition and help the family)
B. What I’ve learned
i. coping with the separation and living in a small community
ii. learning to love the community
v. becoming more responsible and mature
III. Selecting the field of medicine
A. Applying to med school
i. wanting to be of service to others
ii. knowing the value of life
iii. growing up in a town that lacks medical staff
iv. the need for professional and complete training
v. conducted community outreach programs (such as screening for long-term risk factors)
vi. did volunteer work in clinics
B. Goals
i. hone my leadership potential
ii. also be a teacher like my mom and relatives, but through a different profession
iii. make difference in the community
iv. go into private practice someday
C. What I can offer to the institution
i. intangible skills such as the ability to think critically and rally/coordinate with peers
ii. sense of responsibility
iii. commitment to excellence
iv. passion for public service
I moved to the United States from Vietnam at the very young age of 13. I found it difficult to adjust to the total change in language, environment, and culture. As an introvert, it was really difficult for me to socialize with my peers, but being in a place where I couldn’t even speak the language fluently made it even harder. However, I did not let these drawbacks get me down. I struggled and persevered to learn English and gradually made new friends.
Even as I was finding it difficult to adjust, I was more worried for my own sister who has Asperger’s syndrome. Most people don’t understand her condition and they take offense when she responds differently to various situations. I have seen many people cringe and look at her with disgust when she does something that doesn’t conform to social norms. Living with my sister has greatly influenced my decision to take up psychology as my undergraduate program. I wanted to reach out to the people who have psychological disorders and help them and their family members deal with the circumstances. I chose ______ University’s psychology program because the school offers a strong foundation in the field of science. I was also given the chance to focus on research and experience hands-on training in various local hospitals. The experience I got has taught me much and it was then that I decided to pursue a medical degree and then specialize in either neurology or neurosurgery.
In my exposure when I do volunteer work in hospitals, I have seen some young doctors disregard the importance of patients who do not appear rich or have trouble speaking English. I feel disheartened that I could not give the medical assistance these people need. I believe that each patient should be treated as an individual with special needs, especially those who need the help of doctors. Having grown up with a sister who’s often misunderstood by society, I know how much it hurts to be brushed off or treated with disgust. I can still remember the taunts I got for not being able to speak English well when we first moved here. I’m glad that I have learned from this experience and am now using this invaluable insight in my dealing with all kinds of people.
I am hardworking, eager to learn, and passionate about helping individuals. The thought processes of people and how the brain works has always fascinated and intrigued me. I intend to pursue a medical degree and a specialization in neurosciences as these will surely put me a step closer to my goal of helping those who are struggling with neurological disorders. I believe that my research and problem solving skills, as well as my empathy, perseverance, and strong work ethic can make me a successful medical student and doctor someday. I hope to pursue this goal at ________ University while intending to contribute positively to and learn from the rest of the medical student body.
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